# 014

Sweet nothings, it's been 14 weeks already! Where has the time gone?

I just finished reading each of your stories and I was amazed at how each of you has blossomed over a few short weeks.

Deb F. is our highlighted entry this week. Deb's clever colaberation of embracing normal people and "stars" is classic. And her end made me laugh out loud. She did something that we talked about in a Thursday Juicer not that long ago - taking a normal situation and heightening it to where unsual characters or situations can be explored.

Title: Pimpin’ Da Sidewalk
By: Deb F.

Gerard Steele Channel 9: So...ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday morning ritual?”

Danise: It started about two years ago when we saw Hugh Jackman run by in leopard tights and a gold shirt.

Sharon: I’ll never forget that day.

Danise: Da very nex’ Sunday we see Betty White – no kiddin’ – get a cab and she was lookin’ rough.

Sharon: We figure Saturday night is party time for the stars and we can catch ‘em on the mornin’ after! So now we host a gossip blog: at blogspot/pimpindasidewalk

Danise: …And we’re a hit at coffee hour after Sunday evenin’ service at St. Paul’s.

Sharon: We pray for them.

Gimme some more...

Improvisational Improv
By: TresK

Reporter: “So...ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday morning ritual?”

Arlene: “It started when her dad began dating my mom”

Kathy: “…quite the neighborhood shocker”

Reporter: “How old were you?”

Kathy and Arlene (together): “Just kids” “Thirty-two”

Reporter looks perplexed

Arlene: “I was 32, honey, she was 12”

Kathy: “We came outside to give them some privacy”

Reporter: “Are they still together?”

Kathy: “Who?”

Arlene: “It didn’t last – my mom went back to her circus job.”

Reporter (hearing approaching sirens): “Let’s wrap this!”

(Film crew leaves)

Kathy: “Think he bought it?”

Arlene: “Hook, line and sinker, child. You did fine.”

Kathy (giggling): “I’m going to like living here.”


Seeding a Neighborhood
By: Mary F.

“So...ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday morning ritual?”

“It was when our old neighbor was killed,” Corrie said.

“Right over there – Sunday morning on her way to Mass.”, Sugar added.

“They mugged her, left her to die,” Corrie added. “If anybody saw it, they didn’t help.”

“Now we keep watch and we get to know people,” Sugar said.

“Do you make a difference?” the reporter asked.

“Yeah, kids talk to us.” Corrie said.

“And the old guys, too,” Sugar said. “Not to mention old gals.”

“People are lonely – need somebody to listen. Now, this is our neighborhood. And there are people out on the street who care.”


Untitled
By: Stephen T.

Reporter: “So...ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday morning ritual?”

“In fact, it was a year ago at Halloween,” Trixie began as she pulled her robe down to cover more of her legs. “You see, the court house here is the dividin’ line between the west side and the east side.”

“And we was determined to not give into fear of kids from the west and east intermingling.” Wanda chimed in. “We’ez determined to break that dividin’ line through candy.”

“So,” Trixie continued, “Here we sat that Sunday, giving our candy to both sides. People heard what we was doin’ and the rest is history.”

“Next question.”


Widows
By: Randy H.


"So ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday morning ritual?" the reporter asks.

"We sit out here just prayin'. How long as it been now?", Josephine asks.

Geri glances at her friend, "Since we met back in 1967. I remember the day Josephine knocked on my door. I learned my husband had been killed in the war and of course, I was devastated."

Josephine continues, "I could hear Geri across the hall cryin' every evenin'. To hear her carry on; I remembered my husband's passing."

"She's a God send!," Geri interjects. "So we spend every Sunday morning out here praying for the widows. That's what we can do."


Wise Woman?
By Linda Gail A.

“So…. Ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday Morning ritual?” Channel 24 reporter Rob Evanston asks.

“Well, Miss Paula here is the wisest woman in the neighborhood, and I’m just trying to glean a little knowledge from her,” Kitty admits.

“Do Garfield slipper help with the learning?” Rob asks with a smile.

“It never hurts to be comfortable while you learn,” Kitty replies sagely.

“And the pumpkin?”

"Ambiance.”

Paula notices the news reporter. “Oh Kitty, who did you kill this week?”

Kitty smiles at the now nervous reporter. “She’s senile you know; absolutely batty.”

“But you said….”

Two bullets stop further questions.


Leatherheads
By Ken G.

“So. . . ladies, how and why did this become your Sunday morning ritual?”

“Well, Mr. Manning—“

“Please, call me Peyton.”

“Well, Peyton, we have been Colts fans for years; actually since before that horrible little man sneaked off with our team, moving them from Baltimore to Indianapolis. . .”

“. . .we don’t hold that against you, young man it was before your time,” Dorthea interjected.

“Well, thank you, mam.”

“Dorthea.”

“Thank you, Miss Dorthea.”

“Why aren’t you the southern gentleman?”

“Indeed,” Gladys added.

“So why do you ladies tailgate, in front of your brownstone here in Baltimore every Sunday morning? It is a bit peculiar, don’t you think? This isn’t even a parking lot and the Raven’s stadium is at least. . .”

“Young man, you are a gifted quarterback, but apparently you don’t understand a thing about FOOTBALL!”